http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb4VvNq8WEM

My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, from You Lord

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always, always

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I mentioned before that I’ve started preaching again in church and every-so-often, I thought it would be good to post some of my messages on my blog – maybe not the whole thing, but at least a summary. So check back once-in-a-while and not only will I post updates on my health and how I’m doing, but thoughts and words that God has placed in my heart to share with you.

This past Sunday was the first Sunday of the year and I wanted to share a message that dealt with how we enter into 2011.

Title: Fan Into Flame

Theme Verse: ”For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you…For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” II Timothy 1:6-7

Do you realize that when you accept Christ as your Saviour, you have God, the creator of the entire universe, living inside of you? It’s what we refer to as the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we tend to take that fact for granted and forget at what cost it took to have the Holy Spirit reside within us; we forget what an amazing honor and privilege it is. And because of such a high honor, our relationship with the Holy Spirit should be more intimate and special that any other relationship we have here on Earth.

Paul, the writer of this book, tells Timothy the Holy Spirit is a gift from God that he must not hide or throw away. Instead, he must build a relationship and “fan into flame” this gift. Just as we develop and mature in our relationships with our spouse or friend, so too, must we develop a relationship with the Holy Spirit.

It’s easy to get caught up in the world – caught up with work, friends, school, problems, worries, etc. It’s easy to forget about developing a friendship with the Holy Spirit and that’s why Paul is encouraging Timothy, and us, to not overlook that relationship. It’s a gift! What do you do with gifts? Do you never open them? Do you leave them under the tree? Do you shove them in the back of your closet?

When you realize you have a gift, you open it, you discover the many different ways that it’s useful to you. When you have a gift, you call and tell people about the amazing gift you’ve received. But sometimes when it comes to Christianity, we tend to shy away from telling others about the gift we’ve received. Paul tells Timothy, God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of Power, Love and Self-Discipline.

Not timidity, but Boldness – Make a resolution this year that you will no longer be timid when it comes to sharing your faith because the Spirit that resides in you is NOT. Be humble, but never shy as to who you are and what you believe in.

Power – Know that when you pray, it is the Holy Spirit that is working in that situation, not you. Pray for supernatural results. Don’t let your situation or people around you cause you to doubt the power of prayer or the power of the Holy Spirit.

Love - Operate in love to anyone and everyone you meet. This includes our enemies. Don’t sit and gossip or criticize. Don’t let your heart be full of anger and hate. God has given us a spirit that wants to operate in love. Let it. Find solutions for building up relationships, not tearing them down.

Self-Discipline – Let us be known as men and women of God who are self-disciplined. In other words, let others see that we are not controlled by temptations or our own desires, but that we leave and trust ourselves to God’s will. When others see us and see how we live, let our behavior reflect Christ.

If all of this sounds to hard for you, then follow Paul’s advice of fanning into flame your relationship with the Holy Spirit. The stronger your relationship is with Him, the more control and influence you allow the Holy Spirit to have in your life and the more victory you will see over your situations.

If you have any questions or have a prayer request feel free to send me an e-mail. I love hearing from you!

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It’s been a while since I had a chance to say hi, but trust me, that’s a very good thing. I actually have good reason for not updating my blog – I’m busy…with WORK!

I love preaching and honestly, I missed it. Prior to being admitted in the hospital, I was in such pain and discomfort that it was tough trying to prepare my sermons, let alone, deliver them, so it’s been quite some time since I’ve stood at the pulpit. And again, I missed it, A LOT! While spending so much time in the hospital bed and in my own bed, there wasn’t much I could do, but think. And there were many times were my mind was flooded with thoughts about being able to go back to church and speak in front of the congregation. Every Sunday, I would lie in bed and wonder what was going in church at that very moment: Who was there? What songs were they singing? What was the sermon about? Thankfully, many of my friends began to videotape the services for me and post it on the Internet so that I could watch at home, but even with that wonderful gesture, my heart still ached to be there myself.

I praise God for the amazing opportunity to be able to serve Him by preaching on Sundays. My wife and I had started going to church a few Sundays ago, but since I was still building my stamina, I wasn’t ready to give a sermon. I hadn’t begun to get myself back into my routine just yet and I wanted to slowly incorporate myself back to the daily happenings of the church, which meant having to wait a few more weeks before I actually stepped up to preach. And then the time came…

I remember the first Sunday that I was going to start preaching again, November 14, 2010 – 5 months since I was first admitted to Fox Chase Cancer Center. And, man, I was nervous! It was as if that Sunday would be my first time ever preaching in front of a crowd. I had butterflies in my stomach the entire week; the night before, I barely slept. I kept tossing and turning; my thoughts, my excitement kept me awake. I finally had fallen asleep, but because I was so nervous and excited, I opened my eyes as soon as the sun shone through the curtains; today was the day.

I took a shower and afterwards, for the first time in 5 months, I stood in my closet with an incredible dilemma, “What am I going to wear?” I wanted to look my best and of course, I wanted to pick a great tie that would proclaim: “I’m back!” Then my wife told me what to wear and that was that.

During the entire Sunday service, I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect, but at the same time, God had given me peace; He was with me and would be there no matter what happened. Finally, it was time for me to speak.
I stood behind the pulpit and felt amazing. Actually, the feeling was more than amazing, it’s indescribable. It had been such a long and difficult journey that to be back behind the pulpit was incredible. Before beginning my sermon, I asked everyone to bow their heads with me as I prayed. And as I was praying, I had to fight back the tears as I began to think about all God had brought me through and to where I was at that moment. What as amazing God we serve.

My first few minutes of preaching were a little off and I could feel the rust in my voice, but as I continued I could feel the Holy Spirit taking over and I allowed myself to just follow in His lead. Afterwards, when it was all said and done, I had a big smile on my face and in my heart.

Things are better and I’m slowly getting back to what life was like before I was sick. I feel great; my stamina and strength have been steadily increasing. I’m back at the gym and feeling like my normal self again. I’m not a 100% yet, but I’m getting stronger everyday. By God’s grace, I’m continuingly making great progress. I continue to have tests and scans completed, and all of the results are extremely positive. I continue to meet with my doctors who are always amazed at the improvements I’m making everyday.

It’s an incredible miracle and a great blessing to wake up every morning and have another chance to use the talents and gifts God has equipped me with for His glory, especially considering what a crazy journey this year has been.

Thank you God.

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A recent conversation I had with my 4 y/o niece:

Her: Bryanchachen, can I ask you a secret?
Me: Sure, what is it?
Her: Who balded you?
Me: My wife.
Her: Ohhh, can she do it again?
 
**(I didn’t want to expose my niece to all the details, so to make things easy, I told her my wife cut all my hair off, or in other words…”balded me.” Guess she really likes the new look.)

This is probably the fourth or fifth time that I’ve referenced my hair in a post, but funny enough, it seems like hair is a good marker as to where I am in my journey. I haven’t had the need to use shampoo for several months now, so the fact that I was able to use it yesterday is a pretty good indicator that I’m headed down a path where I know everything will be ok.  My head went from being completely shiny to peach fuzz to stubble to actual strands of hair, that now, thanks to my wife’s shampoo, holds the smell of coconuts and orchids. As I was using the shampoo, I smiled, thanked God and just reflected upon Him and the miracle of restoration.

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It’s been a long and exciting week, but through it all, I’m elated to know that God is my Healer; my Friend; my Saviour.

Last Wednesday, I took another trip to NYC to visit my doctors there. During this visit, I would get an update on how I was doing and also find out if any surgery was necessary. I spent my morning undergoing CT scans, ultrasounds and bloodwork and eventually met with the doctor. Thankfully, the doctor said the preliminary results of my scans and bloodwork are clear and normal. My body has responded well to the treatments and at this time, there is no need for more chemo and there is no need for surgery. Praise God! Of course, I’ll have to continue to have scans and bloodwork done as the doctors will continue to monitor my progress. What an awesome God we serve!

During this chapter in my life, one of my biggest goals was to be healthy enough to attend my younger brother’s engagement ceremony. (By the way, Congratulations to my brother and future sister-n-law!!)

All the arrangements for the engagement had been made prior to me becoming sick, so I knew I wanted to be 100% by October 30th. I knew how long the treatments would take and I knew how long recovery would be, so I prayed and asked God to speed up my recovery time so that I could attend his engagement. Can you guess where I was this weekend? What an awesome God we serve!

God listens and He answers prayers. I was able to go to the engagement, spend time with my brother and his fiancee and also get to see all of my family and friends. Time and time again, people would come up to me to tell me how they were always keeping me in their prayers. There aren’t enough words to express my gratitude to all of you for your endless prayers for me. Thank you.

I thought I would be so tired throughout the day, but God gave me the strength to last from morning till evening and I am thankful that He heard and answered my prayer.

The day after the engagement would have been the perfect day to sleep in and relax, but my other big goal was to be able to go back to church by at least October. And after four and a half long months, I was finally able to go back to church on the last Sunday of the month, October 31st. Even though I wasn’t able to stay for very long, I was able to go and testify as to how amazing my God is. Not only is He someone who takes the time to hear my prayers and heal me, but He’s the one who sent His only Son to die on the cross for my sins. What an awesome God we serve!

It’s great to be back!

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But before I update you…
I received a wonderful note from a good friend who let me know that someone special in his life recently accepted the Lord as her personal Savior. I had such a big smile on my face when I heard that; all of heaven rejoices when someone accepts Christ into their heart and I’m sure that this was no exception.

I’ve always said this before and I’ll say it again, you never know when you will come in on someone’s gospel journey. You may be the one that plants the seed, or you may be the one that waters the seed, or you may be the one that harvests the seed, either way, it’s important to always keep your testimony ready for the moment when you are able to have an impact on someone’s life and essentially, their salvation.

As for me…
Well, I’ve been doing really well. My hair was just starting to grow back the last time I talked to you and within the past few weeks, my hair has been coming in darker and a little longer, this includes my facial hair. Normally, facial hair isn’t a big deal, but my facial hair has been coming in and, without any of my doing, it’s formed a perfect goatee. It seems to have happened overnight and well, it’s pretty funny and I really can’t explain how it happened.

Aside from that, physically, I’m doing a lot better. I’m getting stronger every day and I’m not as tired as I once was. Although, I’m not back to a 100%, I’d probably say I’m at 60-65%. All of my doctors are happy with the progress I’ve been making; my bloodwork is back to normal and my scans have been looking ok. One of the side effects of chemotherapy is you lose the ability to taste food, but thankfully, my tastebuds are improving and I’m able to taste and smell food once again. Overall, I am getting healthy.

The next steps include more doctors visits, bloodwork, and more tests and scans, which will all take place within the next month or so, and exercise! It’s been close to five months since I’ve been able to exercise and lift weights and because I spent a majority of time in the hospital or at home in bed, I’ve lost a good amount of muscle mass. Since my stamina has been steadily increasing, I can begin to slowly incorporate some exercise and weight lifting again into my daily routine.

Again, thank you all so much for your prayers and well-wishes. It means a lot to me to know that I’m not in this alone. More importantly, it’s also a reminder of how God listens to our prayers and how He answers them.

Until next time…

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It’s also by His grace that I’m continuing to get better. I’m regaining my strength and energy and my appetite has become more steady and normal. I’m not as tired, although, I still have to catch my breath after going up or down a flight of stairs, but much improvement has taken place over the past few weeks. The best news is that my hair is starting to grow back. It’s not much, but it serves as a reminder that I need to start looking for sales on shampoo.

Nowadays, as I’m looking in the mirror at my my almost-there-hair, I started to think back to the day, several months ago, when I first noticed my hair was falling out due to the chemo treatments. Every time I would take a shower or brush my scalp, more and more hair would fall out. Every time I would lift my head from the pillow, there would be strands of hair left behind. At the time, God really comforted me and reminded me that as numerous as the falling hairs may be, He has every one of them numbered.

In the same way, now when I look at myself in the mirror, He is reminding me, even as the hairs are coming back, each one is numbered, yet again. I have to smile everytime I think about it. It’s amazing to think that God loves me so much that He would care about something as mundane as my
hair.

And that’s the point that Jesus was trying to make in the Bible passage found in the book of Mathew 10:28-30

 “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. What is the price of two sparrows – one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.”

Jesus is trying to express that God loves us so much that He knows even the most minute details about you. There is nothing that goes on in your life without His knowledge. God is all-knowing. If you are ever surprised by a situation in your life, He is not. If you are ever scared of a situation in your life, He is not. If you are dumbfounded or confused by a situation in your life, He is not. Instead He has everything laid out; every one of His plans is carefully laid out and given much consideration and thought.

God’s omniscience (the fact that He is all-knowing) gives me such a peace because I know that inspite of me not knowing all the ins and outs of what’s going on with me, God does. I know that I don’t have to worry about anything because He already sees the beginning to the end. He knows everything that will happen because He is in control. If I didn’t have that peace, if I didn’t have such a relationship with God, my heart would be filled with worry and angst. I would never be able to focus on the future and getting better because my days would be filled with anxiety about what’s going to happen next.

God is fully in control. He’s the one who gave me life; He’s the one who knew me even before I was in my mother’s belly. God is amazing and the fact that He knows everything about me, even how many hairs I have on my head, makes me even more thankful for my Wonderful Maker.

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It’s been an exhausting weekend and I know you are eagerly waiting to hear the results of the CT scan and my recent doctor’s visit.

So here goes…

We left the house early Friday morning and didn’t return till extremely late that night; NY traffic is no joke, especially in Manhattan and during rush hour!

I met with one extremely nice and knowledgeable doctor and he was able to share his thoughts on what he believed to be the problem. We spent a good hour talking to the doctor and left feeling relieved.

I won’t share too much detail as to what was discussed, but overall, the results are positive. The CT scan is clear – meaning no indication of cancer remaining, which is great news, but, this time around the doctors want to be more aggressive in their testing so that they are absolutely positive that I’m completely back to normal.

Meanwhile, the progress I’ve made so far is miraculous. God has really put His healing hands to tremendous work and even the doctors are in awe of how well I’ve responded to the treatment given. It’s amazing what prayer can do and it’s even more amazing what God can do.

As the days progress, my strength and appetite are increasing steadily. I continue to have some bad days, but now, those are few and far between.

So what are the next steps? Within a few weeks, I’ll, once again, undergo various tests and scans to make sure the cancer is completely gone. Like I said, the doctors want to err on the side of caution and really be sure that there isn’t even a trace remaining in my body.

After that, well, it’s hard to say what will happen – we’ll have to wait and see what the results of those tests are.

As always, there are never enough words to express the gratitude I have for my family, friends, church, and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Your prayers sustain me and I’ll forever and always be grateful for them.

Please continue to keep me in prayer.

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Sorry for the lack of communication

I’ve been sitting at home these past two weeks resting and recovering from the last round of chemo. It’s been a bit challenging these past two weeks only because I am longing to get back to normal life, which includes simple things like walking up a flight of stairs without losing breath to strolling the aisles of Shoprite picking up groceries.

Thankfully though, my recovery is going well and I’m doing ok. In fact, my recovery has received a great boost from the NY Giants win today. Thank goodness for football!

I hope everyone has been enjoying the start of football season. I know I am!

So what’s the latest…?

Aside from sitting at home and recovering, I have a CT scan scheduled this Wednesday. The scan will show how my body has responded to the chemo treatment, which will give the doctors a better idea for next steps. Then, this Friday I will be traveling to a hospital in NY to visit with a specialist who will also offer his opinion of next steps. So please keep me in prayer as this will be a busy week for me.

But regardless of what doctors say I leave my fate in the hands of God, the creator and my true Healer.

I miss you all.

Go Giants!

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Although we’re close, we haven’t reached the end yet. I still need to have some additional tests and scans done in order to see how my body has been responding and once that is complete, the doctors will review and determine the next steps. Please keep on praying and as always, I’m thankful for them.

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